Another Rough Day

Today was a rough day, you can see it on my face. The emotional rollercoaster of pregnancy after loss takes it toll. Not just that though, I am feeling just tired and sick. I am so happy to feel pregnant, but it is also exhausting.

Today I called the lab for my test results. I asked if they were ready and if I could go pick them up. The lab tech said that my doctor's office had them and if I wanted I could call them. So I called my OB's office. The receptionist gave me the results and when I asked questions she said that my doctor was not in today.

Today's HCG was 867. I was hoping for over 2000, so I was very stressed about this result. Immediately I got online and started doing my research. Most everything I read said that my earlier results were extremely high and that today's results were normal. Ok, so that was good news I suppose, but I really liked getting "Great" results, normal is discouraging.

My progesterone level was even more discouraging. Last week it was over twenty four and today it was only 16.7! It is still within normal range, but it is dropping and that is not good. Yesterday at my appointment, my doctor gave me a prescription for prometrium and some samples. Well it didn't occur to me to ask him the dosage. I took one pill last night, but then I got this discouraging news and didn't know for sure if I was doing the right thing. I called back and asked if there was any doctor or nurse available to tell me what I should be doing. The receptionist said, "Your doctor is at his desk, just a minute" WHAT? I had been stressing for hours and he really had been there? He got on the phone and said that the results were all within normal range. But he did want me to take the prometrium. He said, "I gave you 200 mgs right? I said "No 100 mgs. Should I take two?" he said, "Oh, no, one is fine." What?

I am feeling very confused and discouraged. I just so much want this baby to be ok. If he told me to stand on my head for the next nine months I would totally do that. Everything just feels so ambiguous. I want to do what is the RIGHT thing to do. I wish it was easier to just really know what that was ya know?

I still have my ultrasound scheduled for Monday so I guess that is when I will get some more news. In the meanwhile I plan to lay low as much as possible which isn't easy when I am working full time and going to school full time.