Saturday, August 04, 2007

What will God Use?

Isn't it funny how God uses seemingly every day moments to totally open your eyes to his divine interventions?

When Zachary was little he spent a lot of time with his Great Grandmother Ann. He adored her. She adored him. They had a very special relationship. They were both wrapped around each other's fingers. They had that sort of relationship that they always loved being together. She always offered to have him over to spend the night, and while he was there, they would bake, or make scrambled eggs. She was the only one who could get him to eat scrambled eggs! Her secret was that she let him do all the work, and he loved it! They would watch movies together and she would sit at his side and enjoy the entire movie right along with him. She almost never told him no, but then he would never ask for anything that he thought would upset her.

When Zach was five years old he learned to ride a bike without training wheels. He was so excited he wanted to call Grandma Ann and tell her. She was excited too and asked if he could come over later that night and show her. I said he would love to.

Well I don't know what happened that evening, things got busy? I forgot? Life with three boys happened I have thought all these years, but somehow we just didn't make it over to see her.

The next day we got the news, Grandma Ann had died in the middle of the night. They found her the next day in the living room, she had had a stroke and fell on her way to the phone. She was in her nightgown so it likely happened late at night. We were all devastated. Such a tragic loss.

I have spent the last nine years racked with guilt for not having made the trip over that night to let her see him ride his bicycle. I know how much she would have loved it. What a precious memory we could have had, how did I forget that? Why didn't we go?

THEN last night it hit me. I was laying in bed thinking of a phone call I had had earlier. My close friend Melissa was on the phone with me as her Mom was leaving her house to go home. Her son, Logan, was begging and sobbing to go home with Grandma. He wanted to spend the night. Six Year old Logan was throwing a full blown temper tantrum to say the least. But his Grandma had to go to a meeting that night, and had to go to work in the morning, so she had to tell him no because all he would have time to do is sleep and then have to leave. As I was trying to sleep I thought of Zachary and his Grandma Ann and how he would always want to stay the night and because she wasn't working she always said yes. She considered it a treat to have him over anytime she could.

THAT is when God spoke to me. As clearly as if he was right there in the room. Showing me the truth, shining his light on a very dark memory of my failure that night. GOD TOLD ME, if I had made it over to let Zach show Grandma Ann how well he could ride a bike, he would have begged to stay the night. She would have said yes. He would have been safely tucked in bed when she died in the living room. Zach would have been the one to find his precious Grandma Ann dead the next morning. What a terrible tragedy that would have been!!! One that no child should ever suffer. And the only thing that prevented it was my memory lapse. I heard from God last night that he was protecting Zach. That he caused me to become busy, or to forget or whatever happened that night to protect Zachary from what would otherwise have been a very tragic discovery for a five year old boy.

God used my friendship with Melissa and her son's love of his Grandma to totally clear my heart of this guilt that has plagued me for nine years. I feel so refreshed, this heavy burden lifted.

Thank you Melissa for being used by God, even if what He is using is a temper tantrum of a six year old boy. You never know what moment God will use to change your life or someone else's.

2 Comments:

At 6:07 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well Praise God Jenny that Logan had that temper tantrum while I was talking to you on the phone. Otherwise it would have been just another tantrum without any special meaning.

 
At 6:40 PM, Blogger Unknown said...

How do you know for sure God is real? You have such faith. I wish I had your kind of faith!!!! Sweet baby Jordan is such an inspiration to me!

 

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