My Last Day of Pregnancy

After the reporter left, we felt a huge sense of relief. Charles and I just stood and held each other tight. Jordan's life would not simply pass into some abyss. He would be remembered. He would provide hope to some other family. Jordan definitely had changed our lives and he would be changing many more lives. I got online to tell my friends on the Trisomy 18 website about the success of our interview. I was so excited that things had gone so well. Not just any reporter would be covering it. The editor himself wanted to cover Jordan's time with us.

While chatting with my friends, I realized that it had been a while since Jordan had kicked me. I told them I needed to get off of the computer and go eat some ice cream to see if Jordan kicked back into high gear. I ate a bowl of ice cream and nothing changed. It was almost dinner time and I decided to try eating dinner and see what that did for Jordan. Still no movement, I realized I hadn't felt him move in six hours. I began to become more and more concerned for Jordan's wellbeing.

Charles called the hospital again and they urged us to come in for another non stress test. This time I had all of the stuff we might need but didn't think it would be necessary. I really only thought we needed to check in order to calm my nerves. Charles put my suitcase and Jordan's bag in the car 'just in case'.

We arrived at the nurses station and they put us right into a room and gave me the gown to put on. I went into the bathroom and changed and hurried to the bed to begin the test. After about an hour on the machine the nurse came in and sat down to talk to us. She explained how two weeks ago when we came in, Jordan's heart showed variability. She talked about how his heart rate would go up and down and stayed between 135-145. She said that this was an excellent sign especially for a baby so early in pregnancy.

However, she explained, that today his heart rate showed little to no variability. She told us that today his heart was staying between 143-145. She said that this was very concerning and let us know that we should expect to stay the night. I think that Charles and I were both in shock, though we both thought everything would turn out just fine. Charles went home to let the boys know that we would be staying the night in the hospital and told them to get some sleep. Since they were ages 12-16, it wasn't really necessary to get a babysitter for them. Charles was back to the hospital in just a few minutes. I called Amber and asked her to call around and put our team on stand by.

For some reason the monitor was only working as long as I laid directly on my back. This hurt my hips a lot and to me just seemed unhealthy. I kept remembering when I was in labor with Christopher and his heart rate would go down, they always told me to lay on my side. Every time I tried to roll over to my side, the monitor would beep and the nurse would come in and tell me to lay flat on my back again. I was in agony all night long. At about 3:00 am, I had fallen asleep for maybe ten minutes, when the nurse came running in my room. There was an alarm going off. She looked at the monitor and made sure it was attached my abdomen. Jordan's heart rate dropped down to 80 bpm. It slowly made it's way back up to 143. She informed us that this was a very bad sign. She called this a heart deceleration. It happened again a few minutes later. Charles called his mother and let her know that she needed to start making her way to Redding.

The nurse called the doctor on call and told him what was going on. He told her to call my OB. She called my OB and he was there by 5:00 am. He told us that an otherwise healthy baby would have been delivered by emergency c-section hours earlier. He told us that Jordan would not live inutero for more than a couple of hours and could never survive an induced labor. He told us that if we chose to have a c-section that Jordan would not likely live long because he was so premature. He told us that if we chose to have a c-section that all of my future children would have to be born by c-section as the hospital in Redding does not offer any vaginal births after c-section.

This was so much to consider. Our goal for the last twelve weeks was to hopefully meet Jordan alive. We knew the only way to do this was to have a c-section. We didn't take long to think about this. We told him we definitely wanted a c-section. I couldn't come this far without doing everything in my power to give Jordan the chance to live. Our doctor sat down next to me on my bed, held our hands and prayed with us. This was amazing.

Just then a fire alarm went off and everyone began running in all directions. I called Amber and asked her to call in our team and to go pick up the boys. Jordan was on his way, and it seemed the entire world was waking up early to take part. It wasn't long before our room was bustling. Amber and the boys showed up, Deeda and her husband, Bob were there. Melissa arrived, making our team complete. My boys looked excited and terrified all at once.

Dr Traugott took Charles and Deeda out to get them prepared for coming into the OR with me. He showed them where the NICU was and told them what to expect. Amber and Melissa were in charge of making sure that the boys were ok.

The next few minutes were kind of surreal. I was wheeled into the operating room and there was a flurry of people ready to do their assigned tasks. As Charles and the boys watched me being wheeled away, all of their faces looked desperate. I have never seen them all look so afraid. There must have been fifteen people in the OR working on me in one way or another. Some were preparing for Jordan's care. Thinking of the faces of my family, I laid there and for the first time in twelve weeks, I prayed that God would allow me to live through this, not for my own desire to live, but for them.

After about ten minutes, Deeda and Charles were allowed in. It was time to meet Jordan. Charles leaned in to kiss me and I told him that I had prayed and told God that I was willing to stay here with my family. One tear fell from Charles' face to mine. It was time to meet Jordan.